OK, I've had just about enough of the blatant dolphinophobia in this country. Today I had two--TWO--hate crimes committed against me. This brings the total of dolphin hate crimes I've heard of to a total of, um, 4. Wait, I mean 2. I accidentally counted them twice.
The first one happened this morning. I was walking down the street to visit my bank, minding my own business, and somebody stuffed a banana in my blowhole! Who does that? Who walks around with bananas and hopes to find a dolphin to harrass? Apparently a lot of people. Or at least one person, but I've found that wherever there's one person, there's maybe some more. I almost suffocated, and nobody did anything to help me. I had to go to the hospital.
Which leads to the second thing. Instead of taking me to the real hospital, they took me veterinary hospital! Hey people, I'm a mammal like you! I get to go to the mammal hospital! I've seen people take dogs and children to the ER, and next thing you know, they'll end up at the dirty, smelly vet's too.
This is a national travesty. I urge you to write your congressperson and tell them to include dolphinophobia in their hate crime legislation. I've already written Russ Feingold a few times, but he asked me to stop. Can that count as hate crime #3? Yeah, let's do that.
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