The World Cup

I think there's something in the subtitle to this blog saying I discuss soccer. That was originally a bluff, but since the World Cup's going on, I might as well deliver.

So let's take a look at the matches. First the ones already played.

Germany v. Costa Rica, Germany wins 4-2: Home field advantage, man. I doubt there are enough Costa Ricans to even fill that stadium.

Poland v. Ecuador, Ecuador wins 2-0: I'm not too surprised when the former Eastern Bloc countries lose. Plus I think that Ecuador has harnessed the power of the equator better than any other soccer team before them.

England v. Paraguay, England wins 1-0: I like Paraguay and everything, but come on England. 1-0? Weak.

Sweden v. Trinidad & Tobago, Tie 0-0: As much as 0-0 ties prove the absolute futility of this game, I'm amazed by the tenacity of the Trinidadian team, especially since they were playing a man down. I think I know some of those guys from my South American days. Arriba!

Argentina v. Ivory Coast, Argentina wins 2-1: Check this out--

This is what I call a fan. He is the one and only reason I hope the Ivory Coast wins it all.

Serbia and Montenegro v. Netherlands, Netherlands wins 1-0: Got to be two of the most boring countries ever. I really really don't care.

Mexico v. Iran, Mexico wins 3-1: That's what you get for being terrorists, Iran. Allah's judgment against you is a loss in a soccer match.

Angola v. Portugal, Portugal wins 1-0: There's a soft spot in my heart for Angola that I can't explain, and I guess ultimately I don't care, because the only team in their group I want them to beat is Iran.

Italy v. Ghana, Italy wins 2-0: Did anyone not expect this? I mean, I cheered for Ghana and whatever, but seriously. We're not living in a dreamworld.

USA v. Czech Republic, Czech wins 3-0: This is the one time I'm not surprised when a former Eastern Bloc country wins. USA sucks.

Australia v. Japan, Australia wins 3-1: This is just an oddball match. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't make sense to me.

South Korea v. Togo, South Korea wins 2-1: I guess I like South Korea. But I think it's just hard to like a team whose country has about as much square footage as Connecticut. Which is a shame because I've heard good things about Togo.

That does it for the completed games, now how about the first round games to come?

Brazil v. Croatia: For all the made-up stories about Brazilian soccer team plance crashes I've heard, I still think Brazil will win. It'd take more than four or five plane crashes wiping out dozens of major players to make a difference in this match.

France v. Switzerland: I can't imagine either country caring about this game. You've got the snobs of all snobdom on hand one, and then there's the paragon of neutrality on hand two. I predict a wine and cheese party.

Spain v. Ukraine: A rhyming match! I pick Spain because it's easier to rhyme to with single-syllable words.

Tunisia v. Saudi Arabia: I pick the Saudis. For no reason in particular.

See you in a couple weeks for round 2!