I don't know how many people watched the President's speech last night. I know I didn't. I also know that I didn't read about it today, and unless there's something about it in the sports page or the comics, I shall remain blissfully ignorant.
However, I believe it is my civic duty to offer my opinion. After all, that's why I have this blog. It's my civic duty.
The president is once again heading down the wrong track. Doesn't he remember that we won the war in Iraq? He said so himself like three or four years ago. It's time we move on to the real enemy: France. No, sorry, I mean Poland. Definitely Poland.
I know it's not popular to say that Hitler had the right idea, and because I want to be popular, I'm not saying that. But Hitler saw one thing clearly: the Polish soccer team and textiles industry pose a significant threat to any nation seeking world domination. So if America really wants to wrap its greasy fist around our corpulent globe, it must begin with Poland.
I won't support mobilizing more troops, though. The Polish soccer team is too well armed for a ground invasion. We need send in some robots. The Polish are especially weak against robots, I hear. Drop a couple Furbies down there, and we'll have that country subjugated in two weeks.
More importantly, Poland will serve as the perfect staging point for taking the rest of the world. It's location provides direct access to both the South American and African coasts, and it's within 100 kilometers of at least six Snickers factories.
I wish I had a candy bar right now. Oh, I do have one. Sweet.
I'm sorry, what were we talking about?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment