An Occasion to Narrow My Eyes

There's this new dolphin in the neighborhood, and he's really pissing me off. He just moved into my building, which is even more infuriating than if I saw him on the street because there are so many buildings in town to choose from, and I know for a fact that many of them are more dolphin-friendly than mine.

I'm used to being the only dolphin around town, so this new arrival is definitely unwelcome. This is my turf, and I don't take kindly to encroachers. I don't know exactly what this guy has planned in terms of challenging my position, but I'm already working on pre-empting him. Like when I brought his bag of groceries in, I faked like I was going to hit the bottom and launch it. He flinched, so it worked.

I noticed the other day that he's mostly hanging out with hipsters and shut-ins. At first I laughed at him, but then I realized that he's earning street cred by hanging with people who have integrity. It won't be long before he has a Vespa, and then I won't have a chance.