I Like Things

I realize that I tend to talk about things that I resent on this blog, and there's very little about things I enjoy. Today, I'll try to reverse that trend.

I like frisbee.

I like rabbits.

I like Mt. Rushmore.

I like George Harrison.

I like flying kites.

Wait, I don't really like frisbee that much.

I like tuna.

Wait, no, I don't like tuna either.

I guess that's it.

An Occasion to Narrow My Eyes

There's this new dolphin in the neighborhood, and he's really pissing me off. He just moved into my building, which is even more infuriating than if I saw him on the street because there are so many buildings in town to choose from, and I know for a fact that many of them are more dolphin-friendly than mine.

I'm used to being the only dolphin around town, so this new arrival is definitely unwelcome. This is my turf, and I don't take kindly to encroachers. I don't know exactly what this guy has planned in terms of challenging my position, but I'm already working on pre-empting him. Like when I brought his bag of groceries in, I faked like I was going to hit the bottom and launch it. He flinched, so it worked.

I noticed the other day that he's mostly hanging out with hipsters and shut-ins. At first I laughed at him, but then I realized that he's earning street cred by hanging with people who have integrity. It won't be long before he has a Vespa, and then I won't have a chance.

Sombrero Dream

Fact: Dolphins look good. If you want to get especially factual, dolphins look great.

Fact: The sombrero is the king of hats. Sombrero may indeed be Spanish for "you cannot wear a better hat than this."

Fact: When you combine two things of great awesomeness, you improve the quality of life for all mankind. Example: dinosaurs and baseball. Case and point.

Prepare your minds to be blown.




(Though I don't particularly care for giving credit where credit is due, this website is genius.)

Deportation

Moments after my glorious return and we're already having problems. When converting my blog to the new and exciting "beta" method, I stupidly used my friend's email address instead of my own. So he's pissed, and I'm screwed.

To solve this problem, I'll be doing two things. First, I'm leaving the country. It's not hard because I spend most of my time in international waters anyway, and I don't technically have a right to be in the United States. Second, I'll be exporting all my posts (excluding this one, probably) to my new site at flipperforevergangsta.blogspot.com. For the two or three of you who have links to this blog, they won't work for long.

I'll see you on the other side. Where I have more bling.

NOTE: This is actually the other side with the bling. Still waiting on most of the bling, though.

Resurrection

I am no longer dead. While I was debatably never dead to begin with, it is now official that I am alive. And I will probably write more in the future to demonstrate this fact.

Why am I alive, you ask? That's a good question. Why is any of us alive? Some are alive to improve the human experience, others are alive to play professional sports. Since I fit into neither of these categories, I am alive to blog.

So I return with a mission and renewed dedication. At least until I get run over by a train.