One Last Question for Flipper

Though I never expected to get another letter, I did get another letter. This one comes from "D-Rock," which I assume is a typo for Beastie Boys emcee Ad-Rock. He writes:

Flipswitch, if I may call you Flipswitch,

I was just wondering what you think is the single greatest issue confronting the fate of mankind and what you think we can do about it?

Cheers,
D-Rock

P.S. I would also like to know if you could shed light onto the incident you had with Echo from SeaQuest DSV back in 2001.

One. Why does everybody want to call me something different from Flipper? Isn't "Flipper" diminutive enough? And even though you didn't phrase it as a question, Mr. Rock, you may not call me Flipswitch. Mostly because I don't get it.

Two. Your question. I don't really care that much about mankind, so my opinion may be a little indifferent. I'm not gonna give you any of the usual global-warning, lack-of-sustainable-energy, AIDS-empidemic, people-should-stop-smoking liberal claptrap. The only real problem mankind is facing is declining movie attendance. We've known about this for years, and nobody's done anything. Hardly anyone even talks about it. We have several major studios losing buckets of money every year, and why? Because people can't suck up their pride and go to see a movie every week or so. If this trend continues, we'll soon have nothing but foreign films. What can we do? Go see more movies. If you don't like anything that's out, go see one that you liked three or four times. It's that simple. Hollywood needs your help.

Three. There are two things wrong with that request. Ecco the Dolphin is spelled with two cs, and Darwin was the star of SeaQuest, not Ecco. Ecco was the subject of a video game. I met him once; he's quite incredible, what with those sound wave things and whatever he does. But the incident with Darwin. He was in the midst of a steep decline and getting way too high on coke every night. One thing most people don't know about Darwin: he was always really annoying when sober, and then he turned into a belligerent ass on substances. So I was around him at some party one night, and when I refused to join him at the coke table, he threw the table at me. Yelled something about me and his girlfriend and how he was gonna kill me if I didn't shut up. I didn't understand a word of it, so I started walking away. Then he just died. I did not kill him. All that tabloid stuff was way off. So, clearing the record: I DID NOT KILL DARWIN.

Thanks for your letter!

Flipper, signing out.